Don’t wear piercings to the interview. Don’t text message during the interview – in fact turn the phone off before going in. You’ll live. Hide your mp3 player.

Try hard not to be cool. All bosses know that uncool people make the best workers. Compliment the interviewer on their hair or shoes. All bosses like suck-ups. Get all the stupid trash off your facebook profile. You can post it again later. Before hiring you, they’re going to make you tinkle. If there’s thc or opiates in there, you’re just wasting everybody’s time. Advice for seeking summer work falls into 3 categories: 1. Getting the Job, 2. Preparing for the job, and 3. Keeping the job.

1. Getting the job. Most applications ask for references. Sometimes 3. You’re probably not going to know their addresses & phone numbers right off the top of your head. Write that stuff down, and put it in your pocket before applying. After applying, follow up. Contact the employers you’ve applied to a few days later to ask about the status of your application and when you can expect an interview. That implies eagerness.

2. Preparing for the job. Read Dilbert regularly. It will show you what to expect at every work place, everywhere in the world. If being on your feet for more than 5 hours at a time is a new thing for you, get some insoles, and put some ibuprofen in your pocket. Odds are extremely high that the only thing you’ll enjoy about your new job is the paycheck. Brace yourself.

3. Keeping the job. Showing up is important. Attendance is the biggest problem for employers across the board. In the future, when applying for a more permanent job, prospective employers will call your former employers and ask about your attendance. Blow it off now and you’re cranking yourself for later.

You’re going to encounter rude customers, unreasonable bosses, and backstabbing co-workers. You’ll think that it’s the most unfair place to work in the world. Nope. They’re everywhere. You need to learn how to deal with them. It’s important that you endure the hardships of being a peon now, because someday, when you’re big and important, remembering what it was like when you were on the bottom will keep you from squatting on the people below you.

Strive to be the best at what you do without brown-nosing or tattling on those who don’t try, and you’ll get along fine with everyone. Working well with others makes it tolerable.

Enjoy the fruits of your labor. They don’t keep long.

Mike VanOuse

Lafayette