Hoosier (hoo-zher) 1. n: A member of a nearly extinct tribe of savages indigenous to the region between the Ohio River and Lake Michigan, characterized by such primitive rituals as fishing and swimming in the Wabash river, riding in the back of pick-up trucks, and going to drive-in movies.

They were allegedly capable of walking past a Christmas tree or Nativity Scene without fear or trepidation. Boys would hop freight trains, and worked on their shotguns in shop class, yet no swat teams were alerted.

Their native tongue was English. They demonstrated their independence by refusing to change the settings on their clocks. They produced alcohol from corn, but not for cars. They neither knew, nor cared what seat belts were for.

Revisionist historians suggest they were wiped out by second hand smoke.

Vestiges of their culture live on, and influence the rest of the nation in the form of basketball, driving really fast, and eating things made of fried pork.

synonyms: Honest, industrious, mischievous, stubborn.

Mike VanOuse
Lafayette